Shopping for men is so hard. Especially when it comes to loss! You want to acknowledge your husband on Father's Day because he is a dad and this day is just as much for him as it is for the dad with quadruplets running around. But how? I'm in several private Facebook groups for loss mommas and Father's Day gifts has been a popular topic of discussion lately and I've seen a lot of good ideas! Hopefully one of these ideas will sound right for your husband. If you have another idea please share it in the comments below!
Engraved Pocket Knife
I love this idea because my husband doesn't just love strictly memorial gifts. I think he (and probably many men) would rather have something somewhat practical that he can carry with him each day. While it's practical, he still gets to carry the memory of our babies around with him. I have not actually ever purchased an engraved pocket knife for my husband, but I loved all the options on Etsy.
Custom Sky Map
I LOVE these and think they are so perfect for men! You can get a print, a t-shirt, a ring, a necklace, a wooden plaque, and I’m sure there’s even more options out there to fit any guy’s style. These star maps are personalized based on the date, location, and time that you provide. Most products allow you to add custom text, such as a name or a quote, along with the date, time, and location. If I were to get one for my husband I would use the dates, times, and locations of our miscarriages. These gifts also just look cool, so you could keep it subtle and not add the name or any personal information on the item if that is not your husband’s style, but he could still hang it in his office or somewhere in your home as a decoration that only you and him know the significance of.
There are so many different key chain ideas on Etsy. Just search for personalized key chains and find the style you'd like and then you can come up with the exact wording you want. Another option is to have a little hole drilled into a penny (or other coin) with the year on that you lost your child. I did this one year for my husband, I found a 2015 and a 2016 penny and made a little key chain for him. I love how subtle the pennies are; my husband wouldn't want a key chain that was obviously about our babies because that's just not his style. But having pennies on your key ring is subtle, yet meaningful.
Engraved Formal Items
For the husband who dresses up frequently, consider engraved tie bars, cuff links, or collar stays. You could also have a hankie embroidered with your baby's name and/or special dates. Looking on Etsy for all of these items would be my go to!
My husband has been hinting lately (by sending me direct links to items) that he would like a "Number 1 Dad" Miami Dolphins t-shirt. So if your husband is a huge sports fan like mine, perhaps google his "favorite team + Dad shirt" and see what you can find.
Favorite Things Basket
Maybe items with dates and sentimental value are just not your husband's thing. Many men are very private about their grief and may not want anything that outwardly displays it. If that's the case then consider buying some of his favorite things such as movies, books, snacks, gift cards, etc. and filling a basket to gift to him on Father's Day. Even though there is nothing directly tied to the memory of your child(ren), he will feel acknowledged on a painful day.
If your husband's wedding band isn't already engraved and is a material that supports engraving, you could have his wedding band engraved with either your child's name, initials, birth date, etc.
If your husband likes to wear a watch you could have his engraved on the inside or you could buy him a new watch and have it engraved.
Tree or Garden Stone
If your husband likes to be outside a lot, perhaps you could have a tree planted in your little one's honor. You could also buy a plaque or garden stone to go with it.
My husband would never go for this, but there are tons of leather bracelets on Etsy for men that you can have customized with a Bible verse or your baby's name and dates.
You can have some little washers engraved with your baby's information on them. On one you could have the name, on another you could have the loss date, on another the due date, etc. Then he can keep them in the change section of his wallet or put them on a key chain or necklace chain.
Card & Food
If you'd like to keep the holiday a little more low key because that is your husband's style, then simply buy him a Father's Day card and make him his favorite meal. Whether you bring him breakfast in bed, cook an elaborate steak dinner for him, or order takeout, he will feel loved and acknowledged as a father.